Critiques
Critiques are always meant to be constructive and intended to help the writer improve the work. Every piece of writing has some things that are working and other things that need work.

Things to look for at the level of language

  • Evokes all five senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell)
  • Sharp verbs (few “to be” verbs - is, was, were, are, am, be, been)
  • Active rather than passive constructions (“they ran” is better than “they were running”)
  • Details and imagery (“a burned out shack” is better than “a small building”)
  • Interesting word choices (“stout and irritable” is better than “short and angry”)
  • Consistent style and tone

Things to look for in the shape and craft of a piece of writing
  • Is the setting well-realized or does the scene suffer from "white room" syndrome?
  • Do we have a clear introduction of each important character? Are there too many characters?
  • Is there some sense of tension carried throughout?
  • Does the writing seem to start in the best place? From there, does it move to the next logical scene or action?
  • Is the dialogue tight and does it advance the plot, or is there too much chitchat or idle conversation?
  • Do characters' actions seem logical based on what the reader knows about them?
  • Does the story carry some meaningful theme significant to the human condition?
  • Is the story more than reportage ("first they did this, then they did this") and give us some insight into the perspective character?

These are just a few things to consider when critiquing a piece of fiction.

CYBERPUNK CRITIQUES


VIGNETTE 5 #1
VIGNETTE 5 #2
Aria
Just Another Morning
The Plan
Bunches
Security Procedures
The Rest of his Life
ColeJohnson
Perspective
The Rest of his Life
Crawdad
Minor Dispute
Neon-Lit Days
DressingUp
Writer's Block
Perspective
kt227
Writer's Block
Number 1 Customer
loremei
Belonging
Downwards
LumberTown
The Rest of his Life
The Girl That Grew Canterbury
mozzers
Number 1 Customer
Writer's Block
NickVern
Downwards
Brother
njs6145
Pick Up
Not Just Any Riot
OneEyedStray
Extracurricular Activities
Pick Up
RhinoSpider
Perspective
Just Another Morning
ronstoppable
Brother
Minor Dispute
Silverswift
The Plan
Minor Dispute
SirPryse
The Girl That Grew Canterbury
Belonging
skinninator2
Not Just Any Riot
Extracurricular Activities
SoddenFool
Extracurricular Activities
Number 1 Customer
TeapotDebugger
Jeonseol (Legend)
Security Procedures
WadeRoss
Neon-Lit Days
Jeonseol (Legend)



VIGNETTE 6 #3
VIGNETTE 6 #4
Aria
(C)overt Operations
Birthday
ColeJohnson
A Hatching Friendship
(C)overt Operations
Crawdad
A Little Mouse
Unattended Children Will Be...
DressingUpForArmaggedon
A Special Request
Pivot
kt227
An Exchange
A Hatching Friendship
loremei
Bad Day
The Voice of God
LumberTown
Birthday
Head in the Clouds
mozzers
Built Off Bygones
A Little Mouse
NickVern
Courage
A Special Request
njs6145
Eviction Plea
The Underbelly
OneEyedStray
Head in the Clouds
Job Security
RhinoSpider
Job Security
Bad Day
ronstoppable
Pivot
Courage
Silverswift
Smoke and Mirrors
Eviction Plea
SirPryse
The Voice of God
Undercover
skinninator2
Unattended Children Will Be...
Smoke and Mirrors
SoddenFool
Undercover
Where the moon meets the moon
TeapotDebugger
Where the moon meets the moon
Built Off Bygones
WadeRoss
The Underbelly
An Exchange



URBAN FANTASY CRITIQUES for Vignettes #3 and #4 (x 2 each, 4 total), due Mon, 3/12 at 7:00 pm


Critique Vignette4-3

Critique Vignette4
-4
Aria
Music Lesson

A Goblin Fisherman
Bunches
Keep Your Enemies Closer

Tears & Tea
ColeJohnson
Happy Birthday

Barty and the Bad Plan
Crawdad
Grime

Happy Birthday
DressingUpForArmaggedon
A Good Time

Keep Your Enemies Closer
kt227
The Lost Book

Sharing Frustrations
loremei
A Quiet Place

Grime
LumberTown
A Day at the Docks

Tall Tale
mozzers
Tall Tale

Music Lesson
NickVern
Barty and the Bad Plan

Date Night
njs6145
A Goblin Fisherman

A Quiet Place
OneEyedStray
Date Night

Tears & Tea
RhinoSpider
A Night on the Town

A Day at the Docks
ronstoppable
c a l l

A Night on the Town
Silverswift
The Lost Book

c a l l
SirPryse
Sharing Frustrations

A Good Time
skinninator2
Music Lesson

A Goblin Fisherman
SoddenFool
Keep Your Enemies Closer

Tears & Tea
TeapotDebugger
Grime

Barty and the Bad Plan
WadeRoss
Happy Birthday

Sharing Frustrations


Critique Vignette3-1
Critique Vignette3-2
Aria
Tattoo Day
Business Venture
Bunches
Taunting the Bull
How does it work
ColeJohnson
Casino Royale
Stormy Night
Crawdad
The New Doctor
Family Ties
DressingUpForArmaggedon
Family Ties
Elsie's Day Off
kt227
Stormy Night
Casino Royale
loremei
Don't Think About It
Charged Encounters
LumberTown
Business Venture
Clear as Water, Red as Blood
mozzers
Charged Encounters
Don't Think About It
NickVern
Familiar Faces
The New Doctor
njs6145
A Child's Curiosity
A Close Call at the Docks
OneEyedStray
A Close Call at the Docks
Sketching by the Canals
RhinoSpider
Sketching by the Canals
Familiar Faces
ronstoppable
The Voice of the Wave
The Voice of the Wave
Silverswift
Clear as Water, Red as Blood
Tattoo Day
SirPryse
How does it work
Business Venture
skinninator2
Elsie's Day Off
A Child's Curiosity
SoddenFool
The New Doctor
Taunting the Bull
TeapotDebugger
Charged Encounters
A Close Call at the Docks
WadeRoss
Elsie's Day Off
The Voice of the Wave



POST-APOCALYPTIC STORY CRITIQUES due Monday, 2/19 by 1:30 pm


Critique 5
Critique 6
Aria
Tired Eyes
Discovery and Duty
Bunches
A Proposition
Priorities
ColeJohnson
Communications Test
Malfunction
Crawdad
Out of the Depths
A Chance Encounter
DressingUpForArmaggedon
Fear of the Tribute
Like A Moth
HumerousMaximus
Trauma
Rabbit Wall
kt227
Swirls of Red
Caught in the Briar
loremei
Thieves
Like A Moth
LumberTown
Swirls of Red
Discovery and Duty
mozzers
Out of the Depths
Swirls of Red
NickVern
Fear of the Tribute
Thieves
OneEyedStray
Rabbit Wall
Out of the Depths
RedRoss
Malfunction
A Proposition
RhinoSpider
Priorities
Communications Test
ronstoppable
A Chance Encounter
Fear of the Tribute
Silverswift
Rabbit Wall
Trauma
SirPryse
Caught in the Briar
Tired Eyes
skinninator2
Discovery and Duty
Communications Test
SoddenFool
Like A Moth
Thieves
TeapotDebugger
A Chance Encounter
Tired Eyes


PHANES BAY STORY CRITIQUES due Wednesday, 2/14 by 1:30 pm
PHANES BAY STORIES
Critique 1
Critique 2
Aria
A Trip
Forest Fire
Bunches
Forest Fire
A Quick Repair
ColeJohnson
The Quartermaster
Bear Witness
Crawdad
A Quick Repair
The Quartermaster
DressingUpForArmaggedon
Human and Barren
Forest Fire
HumerousMaximus
Bear Witness
A Quick Repair
kt227
The Path Towards Penance
A Trip
loremei
Human and Barren
Bear Witness
LumberTown
The Return at Sundown
The Path Towards Penance
mozzers
A Trip
The Return at Sundown
NickVern
Forest Fire
Human and Barren
OneEyedStray
The Quartermaster
The Return at Sundown
RedRoss
A Quick Repair
The Quartermaster
RhinoSpider
Human and Barren
The Path Towards Penance
ronstoppable
Bear Witness
A Quick Repair
Silverswift
The Path Towards Penance
A Trip
SirPryse
The Quartermaster
Bear Witness
skinninator2
The Return at Sundown
Human and Barren
SoddenFool
A Trip
The Path Towards Penance
TeapotDebugger
Forest Fire
The Return at Sundown
GATOR BAY STORY CRITIQUES due by Friday, 2/16 by 1:30 pm
GATOR BAY STORIES
Critique 3
Critique 4
Aria
The Robin and the Crow
A Wish for the Past
Bunches
The First of March
Movie Night
ColeJohnson
That Day At The Church
That Day At The Church
Crawdad
Welcome to the Mining Tribe
Shopping Run
DressingUpForArmaggedon
Shopping Run
The Robin and the Crow
HumerousMaximus
Movie Night
Welcome to the Mining Tribe
kt227
A Wish for the Past
A terrible Thing
loremei
A terrible Thing
The First of March
LumberTown
A Wish for the Past
That Day At The Church
mozzers
Shopping Run
The First of March
NickVern
The First of March
The Robin and the Crow
OneEyedStray
Movie Night
A Wish for the Past
RedRoss
The Robin and the Crow
Movie Night
RhinoSpider
That Day At The Church
Shopping Run
ronstoppable
A terrible Thing
Welcome to the Mining Tribe
Silverswift
Welcome to the Mining Tribe
A terrible Thing
SirPryse
That Day At The Church
Shopping Run
skinninator2
A Wish for the Past
The First of March
SoddenFool
Welcome to the Mining Tribe
A terrible Thing
TeapotDebugger
Movie Night
The Robin and the Crow